We express our love for our children in a thousand ways, but do these “ways” fill their love tanks?

As I was thinking about what will I post for my Valentine’s Day blog, I suddenly came up with a short activity with my daughter – just because I wanted to know if I am loving her the right way.

Together, we were able to come up with a list of the things we (her mom and dad) do or say to her that she feels loved the most. And they are as follows:


Playtime
A child who frequently says, “Play with me,” is asking for quality time. They deem most valued when you choose to spend time with them. My daughter says this is her top 1! No doubt about that as I’ve noticed how her eyes sparkle and beam whenever I ask if she wants playtime. She says, she feels super loved when we play with her even for a few minutes. She loves it the most when we play dolls, engage in pretend play, play mobile games together, and even rough or horseplay or just being silly with her dad.

♥ Be present when your child demands playtime and give them your undivided attention. Playtime can be short, but it is best to let your child choose the activity for playtime to be more meaningful and wonderful.

I Love You’s
Never a day had gone by without her saying “I Love You” to us. And when she does, she wants us to say it back every single time. For my daughter, this is like a magic word that could easily brighten her up even when she is feeling down. I’ve learned that for kids whose love language is words of affirmation, they tend to speak sweetly and your loving remarks matter the most. It is best to tell them how you love and cherish them.

♥ Say things like, “You are the best thing that ever happened in my life.” or “You are so important to me and I love you.” – and mean them. And if you are like me, you may also use love notes or cards to express your loving words.


XOXO Time
Cailie loves hugs and kisses almost all the time and we call it XOXO time! I have noticed that she demands more of it when she feels scared or threatened and whenever I get upset at something she did. Aside from hugging, she also loves to snuggle and cuddle on the bed or sometimes asks to have a moment to sit on my lap when we are having breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And if the situation permits, I allow her and even indulge myself in those sweet little cuddles.

♥ If your child is a big fan of hugs and kisses it may tell you that his or her love language is physical touch, and know that hugging shouts, “I LOVE YOU!” 


Mommy- and Daddy-Time
My daughter says she loves spending time with me and her dad, I mean who doesn’t right? But she is more enthusiastic when we get to have our so-called “mommy-time” or “daddy-time” and this includes watching movies, having random conversations, cooking, eating, vlogging, doing other things together, and of course, playing – her number 1 favorite way to bond!

♥ Just like in Playtime, show your love by dedicating at least an hour a day of full attention and love!


Gifts
Most of the kids are happy to receive gifts such as toys, food, art materials, and clothes, among others. With my daughter, we give gifts when there is a special occasion and we sometimes use this as a reward or motivation. Often, we give her gifts to her liking or her own choice of toys, art stuff, food, etc. but we also sometimes give “surprise gifts”, and oh, how she loves surprises!

♥ If this is your child’s love language, remember that your child sees a gift as a symbol of your love, and it does not have to be expensive or lavish all the time because there is also a downside to this. Gifts can be anything from the ones I’ve mentioned and sometimes to simpler ones such as stickers and star charts to make them feel valued. An important note, if you are on the receiving end of a child whose love language is Gifts, be sure to make a big deal of any gifts your offspring gives you by displaying artwork or keeping them in a “special vault” just like what we do.


Do Things For Her
Doing things for my daughter sends her a signal that we care and love her – a lot. She says, that from taking care of her 24/7, to cooking her favorite food and chopping her food into tiny little pieces for her to chew them easily and even helping her with schoolwork makes her extra happy and feel that she is special. 

♥ If acts of service is your child’s love language, it is best to “do things for your child with limitations.” Help by encouraging self-reliance and giving them time to do what they can for themselves. Walk your child through each process step by step to develop his own sense of capability.


Correct Her Mistakes
I am surprised that this is included on her list. When I asked her why, she said that even if we sometimes scold her or get disappointed by the things she says or does, she still feels loved especially when she learns a thing or two by the way we discipline her from the mistakes she did.


Sometimes, us moms or parents, get too busy and blinded and stressed out with adulting and parenting that we fail to stop and see and feel things that matter the most and to actually live in the moment and be present for our children. You see, it is amazing to take a minute every now and then to know what’s going on in our children’s minds and how they view life and love differently than ours. 

It can astound us how our children see and feel every little detail we do for them and that most of the time, these little things matter a lot and speak “I Love You” for them. And that we can also learn from them, if only we take the time to look at things and in life from these tiny little creatures’ perspective.

I am happy that I have thought about having this activity to get to know my daughter more and figured this is very special as it sure hits close to home because these are my daughter’s real thoughts and feelings on how she sees and feels loved!♥


So, let’s take a moment each day to speak our child’s love language and reciprocate their unconditional love for us. Happy Valentine’s Day, mommas!♥